It has been awhile since I updated my blog and I have truly missed the good old blogging days – why do I have to mention this every time? There’s much thoughts and I have much to say but I believe, this is not the best platform to share. Well, let’s not being distracted by my inner thoughts and get this journal done.
Started off with running on a treadmill back in 2013, it’s very convenient if you’re staying in a condo as there’s always a gym room, lol no excuse. Those treadmills are really old – with a total of 8 old & rusty equipment, it definitely not your kind of comfy gym room. Still, it is the best to me. You will definitely sweat in there even that you’re just sitting at the bench because it is hot in there with just two mini wall fans without air-conditioner.
Participated in my first 10km open run in 2016, then I joined mostly half marathon after that. I stopped *open running or participated in any run after Sep 2018 because of some personal issues. Something happened and it hits me badly, not physically. The truth is there was a time, I cried every time I run because of the betrayal trauma. It haunted me, it hurts me deeply and I thought that I’d give up on running.
I achieved my personal best during Standard Charted Half in April’18 and I have also joined the bidding for 2019 run last year. I got lucky and registered myself – best decision ever.
*Back there, I stopped open running for months but I still run a bit here and there, not long distance or joining any marathon. Mostly indoor, short distance. I know I’m weird because I enjoyed running on treadmill, a lot. I enjoyed just me, music and my thoughts.
Decided to join the run after the race pack collection. It troubled me a little because of the haunted feelings and thoughts. Besides, 21km will be kinda tiring without any proper training beforehand or not running any long distance for months.
Okay, I’d be lying if I say I didn’t train at all. I went for an hour treadmill run for two days: Mon & Tues. Basically just to hint my feet that they’ll have to run very soon. Then I felt weak and I just wanna rest. So work, eat, movie, sleep, repeat until the running day, which is on Sunday morning.
So! I went to bed slightly earlier at 10pm the night before, forced myself to sleep. Woke up at 3am, showered, had my light breakfast: coffee & two pieces of biscuit as I didn’t have the appetite at all. Get ready and booked my ride via Grab.
Drama alert: It started to rain. Grab cancelled on me with charges. Grab e-wallet running out of money. Failed to reload my e-wallet. Success after few attempts. Managed to book another ride after 40mins. Driver can’t find the pinned location and almost gave up on me as well. I still remember that I called and begged him to pick me up as I really really have to get to the LRT station ASAP. I directed the way and yea… all sort of problem.
Arrived at the stadium late and ran all the way to the starting line. Forget about all those stretching, that’s considered as my warm up. Although I’ve managed to squeeze myself into my directed PEN but I was still very far behind.
Reluctant to take a picture of this because I’m all covered with fluids, I don’t know maybe it’s the water from the water stations or just SWEAT. I can’t even find something dry to clean my hand, definitely not my shirt, not my pants and not even my underwear.
That’s is it! Forever a loner and always solo. When you’re there placed somewhere alone, knowing that you’re all on your own and there’s no one that you can count on. Ya’ll get things fixed, completed, done, achieved all alone. Surprisingly I did not get haunted by the unpleasant thoughts and what kept me moving was knowing that my little princess (my niece) will be home soon and I have to reach home before her.
I don’t usually stay after my run. I just can’t wait to leave the crowd, to avoid the sun, to feed myself, go home, shower and sleep. But when I do… I’d stay to feed the feed or even bump into someone you know for photograph.
FYI, the running singlet is way too loose even it’s in size xxs. With two big holes underneath my arms and one deep U in front where I can see half of my chest. Moreover, it’s way too cold and sexy for a day out with public transport. I did not bring any extra clothes because I don’t feel like queue-ing up for baggage check in. And! Even that I didn’t plan for a baggage check in, I’ve almost missed the starting time. Lucky me!
Looking much more chubbier and older now but did not grow as wiser as I wish. I wish that I have overcome that unpleasant feeling, probably running solo helps. Also, I felt relieved for completing the run in an acceptable timing, although I was aiming to run slightly better. Well, that’s what I get for not running properly for months but this definitely makes me wanna prep for the next one.
Don’t judge me as I’m not a pro runner, no athlete. I run because running makes me sweat, I run because I enjoy it, I run to distress, I run because I deserve a me time and I run for myself. 😀
© 2019, Kah Mon. All rights reserved.